Anonymous: Seeing my own blood soothes me. I enjoy it so much that it's almost a calming game of some sort; I started cutting to relieve anxiety and social and academic pressures a long time ago and it still goes on now. What can I do to curb the urge? 

shelbys-advice-blog:

Hi Hi,

Well first off, I was the same way, I needed to see the blood but that worried my family, friends etc. So we came up with a few things. I’ll list them below.

Cutting is said to release endorphins which can signal a “boost” to your brain, but in no way is that good for your body, self harming leaves your body in dread and pain. It does no good. None.

Helpful Links:

self harm;

Hope this helps xoxo

Anonymous: What's the point in anything anymore? 

shelbys-advice-blog:

So many things, I can’t write all of them but below are some of the things I live for:

Reasons to live.
  • 1. Smiles
  • 2. People who love other people
  • 3. Animals. (Unless you’re not an animal person, in which case, never mind.)
  • 4. Baby animals. (See above.)
  • 5. The days you feel like you could take on the world and win.
  • 6. Tea (Or coffee.)
  • 7. Friends
  • 8. Wonderful others of significance to you
  • 9. Colors
  • 10. Rain
  • 11. Music
  • 12. Yarn (Or crafting material of your choice)
  • 1B. Good books. (And occasionally bad ones)
  • 14. Fandoms
  • 15. Tumblr (Well, ya know.)
  • 16. Board games (unless you don’t like them, in which case please refer to number 3.)
  • 17. People who care.
  • 18. People you care about.
  • 19. Doing things for the very first time.
  • 20.       Going new places
  • 21.       The smell of spring after it rains
  • 22.       Drinking hot cocoa and watching snow fall
  • 23.       Laughing so hard your sides hurt
  • 24.       Staying in your warm bed just because
  • 25.       Reading a new book for the first time
  • 26.       Reading a book at a park in the grass 
  • 27.       Staying up late talking to your best friend
  • 28.       Your future kids
  • 29.       Eating breakfast foods for dinner
  • 30.       Having movie marathons with lots of popcorn 
  • 31.       Cutting out paper snowflakes when it’s snowy out
  • 32.       Being at your best friends wedding
  • 33.       Meeting new people
  • 34.       Watching the stars 
  • 35.       Road trips 
  • 36.       Having kids
  • 37.       Getting Married
  • 38.       Getting your dream job
  • 39.       Summer
  • 40.       Dating
  • 41.       Proving everyone wrong
  • 42.       Graduating high school
  • 43.       Graduating college
  • 44.       Getting a pet
  • 45.       Meeting a tumblr friend
  • 46.       The sunrise at 5 am
  • 47.       The first snowfall of the winter
  • 48.       Snowmen
  • 49.       Christmas
  • 50.       Getting a boyfriend/girlfriend
  • 51.       Making blanket forts
  • 52.       Pie
  • 53.       Favorite TV shows
  • 54.       New Movies (ahem Finding Dory)
  • 55.       Watching your ship finally happen
  • 56.       Burning your first turkey for thanksgiving
  • 57.       Future Boyfriends/girlfriends
  • 58.       Finding that perfect pair of jeans
  • 59.       Eating your favorite food 
  • 60.       The smell of rain (just in general)
  • 61.       The heat of the sun on your back
  • 62.       Decorating a Christmas tree
  • 63.       Sleeping in late
  • 64.       Coffee
  • 65.       Going on an adventure in an unknown place
  • 66.       Shopping with someone that boosts your self-esteem
  • 67.       All the people you could help
  • 68.       All the smiles and laughs you could create
  • 69.       Your favorite band/artist coming out with a new song 
  • 70.       The Fair
  • 71.       Spring Break
  • 72.       Playing with a pet
  • 73.       Making gingerbread houses
  • 74.       Going to a bonfire
  • 75.       Making art
  • 76.       Cuddling
  • 77.       Swimming
  • 78.       Going on swings
  • 79.       Cookies
  • 80.       Photo shoots
  • 81.       Finding clothes that make you feel sexy
  • 82.       Candy corn
  • 83.       Dressing up at Halloween
  • 84.       Kissing in the rain
  • 85.       Making it to your 21st birthday
  • 86.       Presents
  • 87.       Wearing your significant other’s clothes
  • 88.       Pizza
  • 89.       Talking with someone who gets you
  • 90.       Watching the leaves change colors
  • 91.       Big bear hugs
  • 92.       Flying in an airplane
  • 93.       Going in a boat somewhere 
  • 94.       Cruises
  • 95.       When your dog knows you are sad and goes and cuddles with you
  • 96.       Funny pictures 
  • 97.       Going to plays
  • 98.       Going to concerts
  • 99.       Assorted chocolates
  • 100.     Buying yourself something you have wanted for a long time
  • 101.     Tire swings
  • 102.     Baking 
  • 103.     Suntanning
  • 104.     Smelling flowers
  • 105.     Visiting different places
  • 106.     Trying new things
  • 107.     Nutella
  • 108.     Buttons!
  • 109.     Puffins
  • 110.     Because you’re never as alone as you think or feel
  • 111.     If you stop now, you’ll never see how far you came
  • 112.     Sunsets
  • 113.     The first flower after the winter
  • 114.     Snowball fights
  • 115.     Swimming on a hot summer day
  • 116.     Water fights
  • 117.     Roller Coasters
  • 118.     Having amazing sleepovers with your friends
  • 119.     Having a great time with your friends
  • 120.     Having a great time with your family
  • 121.     Seeing old people still enjoying their lives
  • 122.     Seeing little kids laughing
  • 123.     Cute kids
  • 124.     Cute cats
  • 125.     And cute dogs 
  • 126.     Cute animals in general 
  • 127.     The beauty of this nature 
  • 128.     Listening to a good song 
  • 129.     Waiting for the next season of your favorite tv show 
  • 130.     Birthdays 
  • 131.     Growing up 
  • 132.     Having a family in the future 
  • 133.     Trying to follow your dreams 
  • 134.     Dancing around your room 
  • 135.     Watching movies 
  • 136.     Tea 
  • 137.     Meeting new cultures 
  • 138.     Traveling around 
  • 139.     Singing 
  • 140.     Having laugh attacks 
  • 141.     Making new experiences 
  • 142.     Learning new languages 
  • 143.     Pizza
  • 144.     Stuffed animals
  • 145.     Twitter
  • 146.     Remembering an awesome dream
  • 147.     Fireworks
  • 148.     Coconuts, they are cool
  • 149.     Getting nice messages
  • 150.     Helping other people
  • 151.     Your pets
  • 152.     Whatever obsession you may have for a tv show/movie/book/video game/etc.
  • 153.     Sir Patrick Stewart
  • 154.     Fuzzy slippers
  • 155.     Dressing up
  • 156.     Moving
  • 157.     New houses
  • 158.     Decorating
  • 159.     Going to the zoo/aquarium
  • 160.     Snowcones
  • 161.     Musicals
  • 162.     Disney movies
  • 163.     Horseback riding
  • 164.     Bowling
  • 165.     Getting 100% on a test/paper
  • 166.     Getting the right answer in class
  • 167.     Movie days in class
  • 168.     Parties
  • 169.     4th of July
  • 170.     Ice cream trucks
  • 171.     Having your favorite meal
  • 172.     Manicures/Pedicures
  • 173.     Dying your hair
  • 174.     Camping
  • 175.     Candles
  • 176.     Baths
  • 177.     Jewelry
  • 178.     Last Day Of School
  • 179.     Taking pictures
  • 180.     Mastering something you have worked hard on
  • 181.     Decorating Easter eggs
  • 182.     Finding the perfect gift for someone
  • 183.     Being held
  • 184.     Kissing
  • 185.     Making out
  • 186.     Funny videos
  • 187.     Standing up for yourself
  • 188.     Going to movie theaters
  • 189.     Cotton candy
  • 190.     Getting a tattoo
  • 191.     Getting proposed to
  • 192.     Volunteering
  • 193.     Making someone’s day
  • 194.     Making someone smile
  • 195.     Giving someone something they want (In a good way.)
  • 196.     Meeting your favorite author/actor
  • 197.     Water balloon fights
  • 198.     Holding hands
  • 199.     Seeing someone you haven’t seen in a long time
  • 200.     Showing someone else something you like (tv shows, music, stuffed animals)
  • 201.     Hiking
  • 202.     Drawing with chalk
  • 203.     Babysitting
  • 204.     Helping someone
  • 205.     Getting a new phone
  • 206.     Water slides
  • 207.     Reminiscing about good memories
  • 208.     Picnics
  • 209.     Eating cookie dough
  • 210.     Breakfast in bed
  • 211.     Late nights
  • 212.     Carving pumpkins
  • 213.     Bookstores
  • 214.     Field Trips
  • 215.     Candy stores
  • 216.     Late night drives
  • 217.     Piggy Back Rides
  • 218.     Pinky Promises
  • 219.     Finding wifi in unexpected places
  • 220.     Tree houses
  • 221.     Trampolines
  • 222.     Untouched snow
  • 223.     Floating down a river
  • 224.     Hammocks
  • 225.     Reading
  • 226.     Getting a book you have wanted
  • 227.     Balloons
  • 228.     Going on a train
  • 229.     Fountains
  • 230.     Fresh fruit
  • 231.     Berry picking
  • 232.     Bubbles
  • 233.     Old photographs
  • 234.     Compliments
  • 235.     Waking up to sweet messages
  • 236.     Disneyland
  • 237.     Waking up on Christmas morning
  • 238.     Daydreaming
  • 239.     Cloud watching
  • 240.     Writing stories
  • 241.     Reading fan fiction
  • 242.     Warm towels
  • 243.     Forehead kisses
  • 244.     Amusement parks
  • 245.     Sound of the ocean
  • 246.     Valentines day
  • 247.     Sports games
  • 248.     Finding pictures of things you like
  • 249.     Being heard/listened to
  • 250.     Wrapping presents
  • 251.     Shopping online
  • 252.     Finding a good deal
  • 253.     When your parents/friends/etc say yes
  • 254.     Being validated
  • 255.     Bows
  • 256.     Having makeup turn out great
  • 257.     Family gatherings
  • 258.     People who accept you for you
  • 259.     Singing along to the radio
  • 260.     Bonding over a common interest
  • 261.     Finding people to sit with at the lunch table
  • 262.     Fridays
  • 263.     Raves
  • 264.     Blogging
  • 265.     Having the house to yourself
  • 266.     Dancing in your underwear
  • 267.     Finding cute underwear
  • 268.     Being loved for you
  • 269.     Someone knowing you so well they know when you aren’t okay
  • 270.     Performing
  • 271.     The feeling of air blowing through your hair
  • 272.     The feeling of water on your hands
  • 273.     Breathing
  • 274.     The feeling of love
  • 275.     Jesus
  • 276.     Doing dorky things with friends
  • 277.     When the leaves change color and fall off the trees in autumn
  • 278.     When new young leaves cover the trees in spring
  • 279.     When the fully grown leaves offer shade in the summer.
  • 280.     Sunrises and sunsets reminding us that life goes on.
  • 281.     The first warm day after a cold winter.
  • 282.     The first cool day after a blazing summer.
  • 283.     The extra hours of light in the summer to spend with friends
  • 284.     The extra hours of darkness in winter to spend with a book or movie.
  • 285.     New albums
  • 286.     Crunch of fall leaves
  • 287.     Watching your future kids grow
  • 288.     All nighters
  • 289.     Cute boys
  • 290.     Cute girls
  • 291.     Cute people in general
  • 292.     Silly jokes
  • 293.     Sunshine through the blinds
  • 294.     Bubble baths
  • 295.     Best friends
  • 296.     Puddles
  • 297.     Trips to Disney
  • 298.     Hugging Mickey Mouse
  • 299.     Watching the sunrise from the balcony of a hotel on the beach
  • 300.     Sitting on the dock of a different hotel and watching dolphins swim by
  • 301.     Exploring and learning the history of one of the oldest cities in the western world
  • 302.     Running in your first mud obstacle and finishing (never-mind winning, just finishing)
  • 303.     Goofing off
  • 304.     You only live once
  • 305.     Falling in Love
  • 306.     You won’t always be sad.
  • 307.     You deserve to live.
  • 308.     Recovery
  • 309.     Stepping on crunchy leaves
  • 310.     Meeting new friends
  • 311.     Honey
  • 312.     Chocolate in general
  • 313.     Small rain showers
  • 314.     Thunder
  • 315.     Lightning
  • 316.     The sound of the waves at the beach
  • 317.     Soft fur
  • 318.     Scented candles
  • 319.     Pride.
  • 320.     Because you never know what the future holds. All of your dreams could come true and you’ll never know if you end it now.
  • 321.     to become strong. If I survive all my pain and hardship I will rise from the ashes like a phoenix and have more strength and wisdom than those who had it easier than me. If I survive this, anything else life throws at me will feel like a mosquito bite compared to the turmoil I’ve experienced. I’ll endure this so I can live to see the day where my future is nothing but smooth sailing.
  • 322.     leaving your clothes on the radiator and getting into them all snuggly and warm
  • 323.     snuggles
  • 324.     Cloudy skies at night that seem like one huge nightlight.
  • 325.     Just watching the nightlight skies with a blanket and the fragile world around you.
  • 326.     That moment when you stare at the results paper and realize that you’ve passed that important exam!
  • 327.     Seeing an amazing movie for the first time and feeling surprised
  • 328.     Clothing that makes you feel attractive
  • 329.     Thigh highs (See above)
  • 330.     Your future pets imprinting on you and growing to love you more than anything in the world
  • 331.     Taking a wrong turn/getting lost while driving but finding someplace really cool because of it
  • 332.     Drawing a little doodle and thinking “Wow, this actually looks nice!”
  • 333.     Finally getting into bed when you’re really tired

I hope this helps, Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you <3 love you, Stay safe xo

Anonymous: How can I disinfect my self-harm scars? 

shelbys-advice-blog:

STEP 1: STOP THE BLEEDING

Use water. Running water will not only clean the wound, but help to stop the bleeding. Run cold water over the cut to constrict the blood vessels and stop the bleeding. (Doing the same with hot water will cauterize the cut, allowing the blood to clot) Don’t use both hot and cold water - just one or the other should do the trick. You can use an ice cube instead of cold water to close off the arteries. Hold the ice to the cut for a few seconds until the wound closes up and stops bleeding. If you have multiple small cuts on your body, taking a hot shower will clean off all the blood and cauterize the multiple gashes concurrently.

Add Vaseline. As a result of the waxy texture of Vaseline, applying a small smear of it to minor cuts will block off the blood flow outside of the skin and give the wound time to clot. You can use regular Chap Stick if you don’t have any plain Vaseline on hand.

Add a spoonful of sugar. Follow Mary Poppins’s advice at pour a little sugar over the cut. The antiseptic qualities of the sugar will help to clean it, while simultaneously aiding the blood clotting process.

Go to this website to see more info on http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-Bleeding

For deeper cuts you can go in the shower and do the same for a small cut, but the water WILL BURN THE CUTS! So instead of letting the water run down on it take a rag and put on top of the cuts, it will still hurt, but it won’t be excruciating.

STEP 3: CLEAN THE WOUND(s)

Cleaning the wound is important to minimize the risk of infection and scarring. First rinse the wound with clean water, removing any dirt, gravel or glass. Second, take a rag and put some antibacterial hand soap on it (make sure it’s unscented) or baby wash (or if you have face wash for sensitive skin you can use that as well) and gently rub it. It is OKAY if it starts to bleed, you’re taking the dead skin cells and any leftover dirt off. Just make sure you get most of the bleeding to stop to wear it’s not running down your leg.

STEP 3: PREVENT INFECTION

The best way to prevent infection is to apply an antibacterial cream to the wound and cover it with a dressing. Studies show that applying an antibacterial cream can promote healing in eight days, as opposed to 13 days for wounds left untreated.

If you do not have antibacterial cream, you can put some organic honey on it as well. The honey has small traces of peroxide in it, so it will heal the wound without the harsh effect of peroxide in the bottle.

STEP 4: CLOSE THE WOUND

You can promote healing and minimize the potential for scarring by covering the wound. Scientific studies show that keeping an injured area moist:

  • Encourages new tissue to grow
  • Decreases the chance of infection
  • Reduces scarring
  • Lowers the chance of further injury to the cut or scrape
  • If the cut is small enough, simply cover the cut with a bandage or dressing after following steps Step 1 through Step 3

Options for closing wounds 

there are many ways to close wounds, and the best option will depend on the type and severity of the wound itself.

  • Skinstrips are tape—like strips that hold the skin together. These are appropriate for small cuts.
  • Stitches (or sutures) are used for deeper cuts. The stitches are used to sew the edges of the cut together.
  • Steri-strips are used to close wounds on the face in those instances where stitches may leave a scar. Steri-strips or butterfly strips are thin and sticky, and usually fall off after a few days.
  • Skin glue is a special adhesive that sticks together the edges of the wound and seals the skin for protection. Skin glue is not as effective on areas where there is a significant amount of skin movement.
  • A liquid bandage forms a seal over the affected area. A significant advantage is that it can be used in areas that are difficult for an ordinary bandage to stay on. The seal is waterproof, promotes healing and helps protect against infection.
  • If you don’t have any of these, you can use a CLEAN shirt, or cloth, and tie it around the area.

STEP 5: WHEN TO SEEK MEDICAL HELP

Call your doctor if:

  • If the wound is deep, the edges are torn, if fat protrudes from it, if the wound is over half an inch long, if it’s a puncture or if it is a gaping wound, you may need stitches
  • You are unable to remove dirt, debris, dead tissue, or stop the bleeding
  • The wound is on the face, eyelids, lips, or neck as you may need medical attention to help prevent scarring
  • A tetanus shot is require

let me know if you ever need some more help/advice. I’m always here <3.

Helpful Links.

Anonymous: How can I prove to myself that I'm worth something and that cutting really is bad for me and I need help? it seems to be getting worse but i never think of it as bad even when people tell me it is..-K 

shelbys-advice-blog:

Hey there(:

I’m sorry for my late response, I’ve been swamped with messages. But don’t worry I’ll be answering most of them today.

Okay, my best advice for you is to use some positive self affirmations. I’m not sure if you’ve heard of those but if not then what they are, are things you tell yourself to make yourself feel good about yourself but the trick is they’re true. Also they must be positive :) Some examples below..

Affirmations For Self Worth
  •      - I accept myself for who I am without judgment or criticism.
  •      - I accept myself for who I am without fear of rejection from others.
  •      - I accept myself for who I am without fear of judgment and criticism from others.    
  •   - I will no longer give my power away to those who try to control and manipulate me. I own my own power and take responsibility for the choices and decisions I make everyday.
  •      - I respect myself.  
  •     - I honor the essence of who I am, as my Light shines brightly for all the world to see.   
  •    - There are no limits to what I can achieve in my life.   
  •    - I release all negative thoughts and will only focus on the positive in my life.   
  •    - I will be an inspiration to all of those around me.  
  •     - I am able to see each day as an opportunity to make things better.
  •      - I let go of the old me and welcome my new figure without judgment or criticism.    
  •   - I honor the wisdom of my soul and I am consciously aware of the choices I make.   
  •    - I honor the wisdom of my soul and I will trust in the guidance I am given.   
  •    - I believe in myself.

As for cutting:

Cutting is dangerous no matter how big or small the wound is. Cutting is cutting. I understand that you’re having troubles finding self worth. But I assure you that cutting will never give you that, I would advise you to talk to someone, such as a therapist and even your parents. I’m sure they can help you. It’s a matter of wanting to get help and seeking that help. I really do understand that asking for help can be hard but you know what? It’s worth it. 1 million percent worth it.

                               Helpful Links:

SELF-HARM

SELF-LOVE

Hope this all helps, please let me know if you ever need some more help or advice. I’m always here <3 XOXO

Anonymous: Shelby she cut. 

shelbys-advice-blog:

I’m at ask limit right now, Can you ask her to message me? Please.

Also: if you can show her these things (I’ll also show/tell her)

Coping Skills

Self-harm includes anything you do to intentionally injure yourself. Some of the more common ways include:

  • cutting or severely scratching your skin
  • burning or scalding yourself
  • hitting yourself or banging your head
  • punching things or throwing your body against walls and hard objects
  • sticking objects into your skin
  • intentionally preventing wounds from healing
  • swallowing poisonous substances or inappropriate objects

___________________________________________________

Coping skills for any addiction, self harm included:

Need to express pain and intense emotions

  • Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
  • Express your feelings in a journal
  • Compose a poem or song to say what you feel
  • Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
  • Listen to music that expresses what you’re feeling

If you need to calm and soothe yourself

  • Take a bath or hot shower
  • Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat
  • Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
  • Massage your neck, hands, and feet
  • Listen to calming music
  • Color in a coloring book
  • Plant flowers

If you feel disconnected and numb

  • Call a friend (you don’t have to talk about self-harm)
  • Take a cold shower
  • Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
  • Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel.
  • Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board

If you need to release tension or vent anger

  • Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
  • Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
  • Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay
  • Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)
  • Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)

Substitutes for the cutting sensation

  • Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut
  • Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut
  • Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting
  • Cut an apple with your blades, scissors, knife, etc
_____________________________________________________
  • Paint, draw, or scribble on a big piece of paper with red ink or paint
  • Express your feelings in a journal
  • Compose a poem or song to say what you feel
  • Write down any negative feelings and then rip the paper up
  • Listen to music that expresses what you’re feeling
  • Scribble on photos of people in magazines
  • Viciously stab an orange
  • Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall
  • Have a pillow fight with the wall
  • Scream very loudly
  • Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines
  • Go to the gym, dance, exercise
  • Listen to music and sing along loudly
  • Draw a picture of what is making you angry
  • Beat up a stuffed bear
  • Pop bubble wrap
  • Pop balloons
  • Splatter paint
  • Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black
  • Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches
  • Throw darts at a dartboard
  • Go for a run
  • Write your feelings on paper then rip it up
  • Use stress relievers
  • Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it
  • Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc
  • Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)
  • Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock
  • Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself
  • Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go
  • On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture
  • Break sticks
  • Cut up fruits
  • Make yourself as comfortable as possible
  • Stomp around in heavy shoes
  • Play handball or tennis
  • Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.
  • Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)
  • Take a bath or hot shower
  • Pet or cuddle with a dog or cat
  • Wrap yourself in a warm blanket
  • Massage your neck, hands, and feet
  • Listen to calming music
  • Color in a coloring book
  • Plant flowers
  • Call a friend (you don’t have to talk about self-harm)
  • Take a cold shower
  • Hold an ice cube in the crook of your arm or leg
  • Chew something with a very strong taste, like chili peppers, peppermint, or a grapefruit peel.
  • Go online to a self-help website, chat room, or message board
  • Exercise vigorously—run, dance, jump rope, or hit a punching bag
  • Punch a cushion or mattress or scream into your pillow
  • Squeeze a stress ball or squish Play-Doh or clay
  • Rip something up (sheets of paper, a magazine)
  • Make some noise (play an instrument, bang on pots and pans)
  • Use a red felt tip pen to mark where you might usually cut
  • Rub ice across your skin where you might usually cut
  • Put rubber bands on wrists, arms, or legs and snap them instead of cutting or hitting (be especially careful with this as it can also form a habit)
  • Cut an apple with your blades, scissors, knife, etc
  • Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth
  • Run your hands under freezing cold water
  • Wax your legs
  • Drink freezing cold water
  • Splash your face with cold water
  • Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off
  • Massage where you want to hurt yourself
  • Take a hot shower/bath
  • Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet
  • Write or paint on yourself
  • Arm wrestle with a member of your family
  • Take a cold bath
  • Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root
  • Rub liniment under your nose
  • Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)
  • Laugh for no reason whatsoever
  • Make funny faces in a mirror
  • Without turning orange, self tan
  • Pluck your eyebrows
  • Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food
  • Go to the zoo and name all of the animals
  • Color on the walls
  • Blow bubbles
  • Pull weeds in the garden
  • Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:
  • Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming
  • Draw or paint
  • Look at the sky
  • Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming
  • Call a friend and ask for company
  • Buy a cuddly toy
  • Give someone a hug with a smile
  • Put a face mask on
  • Watch a favorite TV show or movie
  • Eat something ridiculously sweet
  • Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head
  • Treat yourself to some chocolate
  • Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do
  • Look at things that are special to you
  • Compliment someone else
  • Make sculptures
  • Watch fish
  • Let yourself cry
  • Play with a pet
  • Have or give a massage
  • Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind
  • If you’re religious, read the bible or pray
  • Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)
  • Go chat in the chat room
  • Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion
  • Accept a gift from a friend
  • Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people
  • Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles
  • Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book
  • Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)
  • Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read
  • Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:
  • “See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down
  • Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to
  • Meditate or do yoga
  • Name all of your soft toys
  • Hug a pillow or soft toy
  • Hyper focus on something
  • Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)
  • With permission, give someone a hug
  • Drink herbal tea
  • Crunch ice
  • Hug a tree
  • Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so
  • Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive
  • Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards
  • Put your feet firmly on the floor
  • Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse
  • Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room
  • Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.
  • Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)
  • Think about how you don’t want scars
  • Treat yourself nicely
  • Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm
  • Create a safe place to go
  • Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”
  • Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it
  • Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do
  • Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming
  • Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time
  • Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut
  • Be with other people
  • Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm
  • Make a list of your positive character traits
  • Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you
  • Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm
  • Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW
  • Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe
  • Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”
  • Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”
  • Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this
  • Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns
  • The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.
  • Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.
  • think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.
  • Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.
  • Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)
  • Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut
  • Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo
  • Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick
  • Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.
  • Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.
  • Paint yourself with red tempera paint.
  • ‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)
  • Phone a friend and talk to them
  • Make a collage of how you feel
  • Negotiate with yourself
  • Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way
  • Write your feelings in a diary
  • Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)
  • Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life
  • Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to
  • Call a hotline
  • Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)
  • Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.